Friday, January 27, 2012

Slaying the Paper Processing Tyrant

The High King, Laserjet 4700, ruled from his throne at the end of the row of desks in the land of Computer Lab room 628. The "printer," as he became known by by the common folk of the land, came into power many a year before our hero had risen to the highest position in the king's court.

Our Hero was the Lead Student Technical & Network Administrator. He was the jester and head advisor in the kings court, pleasing the king, and all of the members of the court who worshiped the almighty Internet under the bishop, Linksys Router.

Generally all was well in the land of Computer Lab room 628, maybe an issue with a member of the court gets into a argument with the common folk over file formats, or an iMac become disconnected from the bishop, but nothing that could not be solved. However, one day this all changed.

The High King grew resentful of the common folks' paper processing requests. For seemingly no reason at all he would require members of his court to renew their oaths of loyalty, and would jam himself full of paper.

Our champion would attempt to appease the king. Swearing in the members of the court, and tending to the crown. But this became quite the chore, and was hindering our defender from completing his other duties.

The King wished to have absolute power over his domain, and wanted to show the common folk how powerful he was! So,he stopped all of his paper processing services, and sent all who had served him into chaos.

This was our protectors final straw! He challenged the tyrant to a dual, for control of the land of Computer Land room 628. The High King accepted and the two opponents faced off.

The young administrator went straight for the king's settings menu. While flipping through the darkest kept secrets that the tyrant had managed to hide from his court and the common folk, our challenger had discovered his majesties greatest trickery! The king had convinced all in his court to request that all paper processing be done from a hidden tray 2.

A simple few flick of the fingers should have been able to undo this atrocity but the settings were greyed out! Our hero was left without hope. The High King was declaring victory. Our hero remembered of just one more path of action!

He wrapped his fingers around the kings power chord and grasped firmly. With a shout to the heavens our hero ripped the unethical rulers life blood from the wall and proceeded to count.

"One one-thousand, two one-thousand..." Until he had reached a total of ten one-thousands, and restored life to his combatant.

The king knew that he had been beaten! He allowed our guardian to reset his factory settings.

Our epic everyday hero gained new respect from the common folk. With the land of Computer Lab under his leadership, he retired to playing tetris. All was again well, and the paper processing tyrant never again sought such power.

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